Harrisonburg, VA - School Lunch
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
A school in Harrisonburg, VA posted their school lunch choices online. They didnt expect media research to be going in a similar area of the World Wide Web. So I grabbed the pics. Some of them looked actually decent, so they were discarded because I cant make any jokes about them. Due to the huge number of images, I had to post them at medium size, rather than large, turning my previous post into a lie. Also, I have not yet come up with all the sarcastic - reality bites style Jeanine Garafalo, style jokes so those will come later in the day. Enjoy for now, post your own observations in the comments. I wont use them, because they wont be as funny as mine, but hey do it anyway, you know?


Its Italian to eat bread? Or is that nasty sauce what makes the dish so ethnic? Is that preggo in there? Also, I cant help but think that "dunkers" refers to the sound you make in the bathroom after eating this dish.

Kids always remember to eat chicken... to the extreme!

Since when was chicken even associated with Italian food? This is BBQ style if anything. Why show it with the bottom of the bun facing up? Why smash it with the largest, fattest lunch lady Dorris hand possible?

More like meatball sub par! HAHAAH.... Moving on.

SS.... working on some kind of NAZI lunch joke.... Hmm Hitler shells. No... is it too soon?

Yes I could take the high brow route and do a TP joke. But no, id rather just call this a lousy deal for these poor kids... taco meat is the same meat as patty meat, the same cow I mean. Why make tacos and remove the best part, putting a dry patty in there? How do you eat this? Catsup?

Drowned with gravy... they should just offer it on the side as a drink. P.S. the nutritional pyramid no longer includes a 1 cup per day recommendation for trans fats.

No crust pizza? Becomes cheese at that point.

This one looks pretty good actually. Nothing bad to say about this one. Other than it will cause heart attacks in the older kids like 6th graders.

What can one say about this? Looks like it was fried in an ashtray.

Probably the best choice.

Also probably tastes great, I bet they all do. But even a person with my own tastes for soul food and fried wings has some limit. The butter soaked croissant is just a bit much. In limbo between a crotchssant joke and a crapssant joke. Get back to me on that one. Anyway didnt we start calling Croissants freedom bread?

Nope wedge doesnt = round. Yes pizza starts out round, but you generally cut a SLICE that could be called a "wedge" that is no longer round. We don't call a 2 x 4 board a round tree rectangle.

What kind of food did you people have at school?
posted by High Power Rocketry @ Wednesday, August 20, 2008  
  • At 8/20/08, 3:16 PM, Blogger King of New York Hacks said…

    Bm...BBQ Meatballs? Looks a lot like the medical term BM....Bowel Movement....I think I'll just eat my cheetos today.

  • At 8/20/08, 4:47 PM, Blogger Arjan said…

    I thought you were working on héalthy meals..this looks like plain junkfood to me.
    It got even worse..it made me hungry so I ate a syrup waffle and I'm craving for the other one left in the pack...thanks.

    There is some food on the list that I would definitely buy though..but not on regular school meal basis.

  • At 8/20/08, 6:50 PM, Blogger R2K said…

    Thanks for the joke advice guys...

    Leaving me high and dry over here.

  • At 8/21/08, 3:49 AM, Blogger Arjan said…

    hush..you would only steal it without giving credits ;)

  • At 8/21/08, 2:05 PM, Blogger Erwin said…

    *snicker* freedom bread...

    but, wtf? This is what they get at school? And someone is still wondering where all those fat kids come from?

    hmm, stuffed shells, sounds like a "Rommel Surprise" to me (you wanted a Nazi joke, you got one).

    The joke's actually better in Dutch.

  • At 8/24/08, 10:42 PM, Blogger Margaret said…

    My arteries have become clogged just looking at that menu. But I must say that Roast beef on a croissant looks very tasty.

  • At 8/25/08, 10:03 AM, Blogger thimscool said…

    That's it. We're homeschooling.

  • At 9/12/08, 1:31 AM, Blogger Butchie said…

    Taco patties looks like a winner.

  • At 10/11/08, 12:15 AM, Anonymous greenboy@needlenose.com said…

    OMG the picture of Zhu Yu eating the fetus was less disgusting that this ;)

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