Santa is a dirty old bastard.
"Gee dad, can I go shoot hobos now?"
Santa gets Mesothelioma.
The gift of self defense (against hobos).
"Ages 7 to 77" So if you are 78 or 6, go to hell.
You think they would airbrush the festering crowns and cavities out of his mouth.
"Boy I always wanted to start my own company. The name I really want is STD, but lets see if it has been taken already. *Browse list of corporations and LLCs* Wow what luck!"