 Santa is a dirty old bastard.
 "Gee dad, can I go shoot hobos now?"
 Santa gets Mesothelioma.
 The gift of self defense (against hobos).
 "Ages 7 to 77" So if you are 78 or 6, go to hell.
 You think they would airbrush the festering crowns and cavities out of his mouth.
"Boy I always wanted to start my own company. The name I really want is STD, but lets see if it has been taken already. *Browse list of corporations and LLCs* Wow what luck!"

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:)