R2K

 
577 - The 12 kinds of Russian Men
Friday, August 14, 2009

Neighbor
Bold, unshaven, he has been over 50 for 20 years already.
He has horrible teeth, some are iron. He coughs after each whiff, but does not stop smoking.
It is not clear where he takes money from. Though his hands are covered with callosities, he never goes to work and is always at home.


Co-lander on vacation
He suffers as he could not buy sunflower seeds, corn, and cakes. He taught the waiters to react to his “Hey!”, “Hello” and learned such words as “ok” and “2 beers”



City neurotic
He has wet napkins and all kinds of medicine.
He has a smartphone to post in the blog from.


Thrill-seeker
He has a hat on all seasons of the year. The warmest one is put on in summer in the warm house.
He always has camera.
He tried to teach his girl-friend to snowboard but she failed.


Clubber
He has dark spectacles on the forehead as it is hard to see anything in the club through them.
He has the widened apples of eye (these are not glasses, but pupils)



Bridegroom
He does not look happy for some reason.
Looking at the guests, he thinks: do all know that the bride is pregnant?



Post-graduate student
He believes that it is easier to meet the girls if you are a scientist.
His eyes are as red as the rabbits’ eyes. He does not sleep in bed, but at the computer. He hoped to have sex. How mistaken he was!




Intellectual
He knows a small restaurant in any city of the world where he needs to order some dish. It is cooked only there.
Any disc with sold over 200 copies is a trash for him. He can admire Britney Spears but has no idea who Enrique Iglesias is.
He knows how to put up Arabs with Hebrews, but he does not know what to do about the drunk neighbor shouting at the staircase.
He celebrated the New Year alone with a case of whiskey.




Ahh true satire. At it's best.

(Get the full translations here: English Russia. The mixed quality of the translations make these, at times, confusing, racist, insulting, and also very funny. Comment if you think one of these happens to match up with your lifestyle. If anything, I am probably the Clubber.)
posted by High Power Rocketry @ Friday, August 14, 2009  
1 Comments:
  • At 8/14/09, 4:11 PM, Blogger Arjan said…

    I think I'll just comment that I'm not a Russian and won't fit in any of the above ;)

     
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